A New Chapter

Life seems to be going at full speed at the moment. We have been in our new house for about 2 months and if feels like home now, like we’ve always been here. Its wonderful to have so much space for Jack to run around, and for him to have his own room.

I love that we finally got to do one of the things we missed out on, that would normally happen during the last trimester of pregnancy. Decorating Jack’s room. We missed out primarily because we only had a one bedroom house so could only get as far as building the snuzpod. But also we missed out on doing that together because Jack arrived early. My husband did it by himself while Jack and I roomed in before discharge, because we hadn’t wanted to tempt fate by doing it any earlier. He now has a wonderful, jungle-themed room with jungly lampshades, bedding and wall murals and I love it. I love that we’ve finally decorated his nursery together.

The biggest step we’ve taken is that Jack finally started nursery/playgroup. Followers of our FB page may know that we have struggled with this. He has started at a different place to the one we chose back in August. He had two trials there and the staff ultimately decided that he was too much for them to handle and that he required too much 1-2-1 attention. I was made to feel like he was different in a bad way rather than what I know him to be, which is different in a lovely way. Yes, he’s still fairly speechless but if I can understand what he’s indicating then anyone can. I was sad and upset and angry. Angry for making me feel like he would be a problem for them and need a staff member to himself. Angry that it felt a little like they were discriminating against a child with additional needs. Illegal much? My other issue was that I had only wanted one day a week just from 9-12 and they refused, saying the minimum they do is twice a week for at least 4 hours, bumping that cost up to £225 a month, which was worrying me. Obviously they were as nice about it as possible and didn’t say all these things in those words. But basically, they wouldn’t take him.

So I was plunged into trying to find somewhere else for him to learn and flourish. At the nursery’s recommendation, we tried a childminder. The nursery said he needed to be with a group of only 2-3 kids per staff member, which they couldn’t accommodate. We visited a lovely couple who we had two trial sessions with and Jack had a lovely time. A lot more affordable too, at about £60 a month, for the hours I wanted. My concern was that my aim of sending him to childcare was to learn to talk and learn to socialise. And the other child that would be attending the childminder at the same time as Jack was mute for the whole time we were there. I knew that, as lovely as they were, this was not going to help Jack learn to speak. And it was a little far out of our way, location wise.

Finally, we visited a playgroup round the corner from my mum’s. Mum had been mentioning this one to me for a week or two. She’s sent me there, and had looked online and it seemed very good with plenty of staff and, another factor, totally affordable. at our visit, they said they do normally recommend twice a week but that they only had space for Jack to go once a week at the moment for their morning session of 9-12, which made me happy. They will happily have him for another session from September onwards. The lady observed Jack, who played happily with all the toys for the whole hour we were chatting without any problems or needing any attention. She was horrified at the other nursery’s behaviour and said she can’t see any reason why he wouldn’t be absolutely fine there. And it’s 60-something quid for the whole of the half term – win!

And so that’s where he is right now. We have built up slowly, with me leaving him for longer each time. Half an hour the first week, and hour last week and now two this week. Next week I’ll probably leave him for the whole session. Apparently, he does miss me while I’m gone at the moment, but it’s new for him. I’ve only ever left him with family members before.

I very much believe that things happen for a reason. I have struggled with that concept over the last few years obviously. But I had chosen that first nursery because my cousins had sent their kids there and recommendation was important to me. It was extremely anxiety-inducing to send him somewhere new where we knew no one. But the universe was kind. When we went for our second session, the girl that greeted us was a girl from the year below me at school, who I knew the name of but we didn’t mix. A lovely girl. The universe gifted me a familiar face that I knew I felt comfortable with.

The universe also made sure that we got the right house for us in the right area. If we’d have moved 3 years ago to the house we wanted then, I’d be devastated right now, because on the field right next to it, a hideous new estate is now being built. I’d have lost the view that I was buying it for. The universe knew, even when I didn’t.

So this is our new chapter. New House. Jack at play school. We are looking into his lack of speech and I’ll blog more about that when we have been seen. He has a hearing test tomorrow – they won’t send him to SALT (Speech And Language Therapy) without ruling out a hearing problem. I can tell them right now without the test that that ain’t the problem. He can hear me and fully understand me. But we’re getting it out the way.

Much love ❤

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