Big Steps Forward

It’s been an exciting few weeks!

We did indeed say goodbye to our first little house and a big hello to our new family home. Thankfully, everything went smoothly, we moved house all in one go on the same day as our solicitor managed to get both completion dates for the same day – the day I’d aimed for the whole time – YAY!

We had some of hubby’s mates helping lug stuff about and my parents helped by taking Jack for the bulk of the day. And once all the stuff was packed in vans and cars, I was able to look around at our empty first home. Yes, I cried. We may have been so ready and we had definitely outgrown it, but it was still the end of an era. That was Jack’s first home. He hit some momentous milestones in that house. But those memories will last a lifetime, and we are happy in our new house.

We’ve already passed some good milestones in our new home. Jack has his own room! He started off with his cot in our room for a week or two so we could get his new room to a liveable state and then made the move. It has taken a week or so for him not to wake or or cry in the night but he’s doing loads better now. We’ve started decorating his room a little with a nice rug and his own things on his shelf. I think he’s started to understand that that is his space of his own.

This move has been so much better for everyone. I am not constantly terrified that Hubby’s snores will wake Jack and can potter about in my own room getting ready for bed as I like without fear of making a noise and disturbing him. This is so handy during daytime naps too – I can actually get on with things elsewhere in the house and he won’t hear me washing the pots or catching up with Grey’s Anatomy like he would’ve before. It’s great!

And his walking – my goodness he’s got it sussed now! He walks all over the house as much as he likes (no stairs to scare me silly as he climbs them, hurrah for bungalows!) and is so steady on his feet. Which leads me to a very exciting bit of news. We have officially been discharged from Physiotherapy! She said that he doesn’t need it any more and that some decent shoe insoles from Orthotics will suffice. Really, now he’s walking nicely, there’s nothing else they can teach him. I’m so bloody proud. Another specialist down!

We have an appointment with his consultant at the end of this month where we can show off how well he’s doing. He’s even eating a bit better, more variety, again after being under the weather for a while. We have been giving him little portions of what we have for tea now instead of an Ella’s Kitchen meal, so he’s been trying things like mince (both meat and quorn), sausages, pasta and even a bit of salad type things if he’s feeling brave.

He still isn’t saying any more words except for Mama, Dada and Nanna and a random babble but we understand each other just fine. He understands everything we say and can portray to us what he wants quite clearly with actions. Definitely will be seeing what the consultant says about his general quietness though. Maybe we’ll be obtaining a new specialist, speech and language, to replace the physio? A reminder that the journey is still not over, even two years since his premature birth.

But life is great. He is such a happy boy, so very busy all the time, and I love every single day with him. Even a work day is made worthwhile by the greeting I get from him when I get back, he’s learnt how to give kisses too – my heart feels like it’s exploding with every little kiss!

Next month brings with it a very big milestone – one that makes me very anxious. Starting nursery. Not since I brought him home from the NICU, aged 3 months, have I ever left him with anyone that wasn’t family, not even for a tiny second. I’ve left him with  his Daddy, his grandparents, my sister and even my cousin. But now I have to leave him with strangers for two mornings a week, just so he learns how to interact with other kids and maybe pick up a few more words? Bricking it mate. I have made the nursery staff aware of his history and that this is a big deal, so much bigger than the average mum taking her kids to nursery. He is special and still different to other kids. I remain damaged. I have to work so hard to keep Anxiety and PTSD at bay. I think I’m doing an ok job at that but I’m prepared that nursery may be a bit of a relapse trigger.

I will do the only thing I know how to do to keep my anxiety at bay during his nursery sessions. Run. When I run, my head is either empty or I can just let thoughts float in and out peacefully. When I run, I am me.

But first, Christmas! And with a 2 year old it should be brilliant!



One thought on “Big Steps Forward

  1. Beautifully written as always, I’m so glad you are moving in the right direction. My premmie twins (age 3) are starting nursery in January and whilst I know it’s for the best it’s still going to be a massive wrench! My thoughts are with you xx


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