I don’t drink. There I said it. *gasp*
I’m not one of these hilarious mum-bloggers who share the fact that, because their toddler shat on the carpet and started painting with it (yet to happen, I’m sure it will), they drank a whole bottle of gin and it gets thousands of likes.
(Actually, I think he did once shit on someone else’s carpet – sorry Jane! No painting with it though, thank god. We good?)
I love seeing that stuff, it makes me giggle and makes me feel like it’s ok to be imperfect. It’s ok that my boy misbehaves because that’s just what kids do. Real life parenting, we’re all doing our best.
I feel separated from that club though. I don’t glug wine at the end of a difficult day. You’re more likely to find me watching The Great Pottery Throwdown with a big glass of Ribena. Sigh – is there any drink that compares?
I’m not stylish or witty.
What I am is a homebody who loves comfort. After everything we’ve been through, home is my sanctuary. I understand other Preemie Mums who may feel alienated by normal mumblogs that talk about the “last difficult trimester” we missed and the labour/birth experience we may not have gotten because of our emergency sections.
I don’t post pictures of a half-gone wine glasses. I post our story. Our successes and updates. My worries, links to news stories that I think are important. As well as stuff that I think is fun and relatable. I don’t get the audience that they do but hey ho.
I don’t have the same outlook on parenthood that I might have had, if everything had gone as it should. I’m different to the other 7 out of 8 mums who went full term and had a healthy baby. I’m different to how I was before. Cautious. Anxious. Appreciative. Blessed.
I’m not bashing other mumbloggers. I just can’t always relate. Like I have my whole life, I feel different to my peers. Separated and a bit lonely. Like at school, I had a group of friends but would they miss me if I wasn’t there? But that’s not a story for here.
So I write how I feel in hopes that I reach someone out there like me. The ones who don’t fit in. The ones that always have to make the first move to meet with friends knowing that no one ever texts them first. The ones who had a different experience to the norm. We can support each other from afar through the magic of the internet.
I am here, just as lonely and different as you, but not alone xxx