So lets start with the first thing this morning. This comment on my instagram with this photo from my last blog post..

What a lovely way to start the day! This person had obviously found me in one of the hashtags I’d used as she is a complete stranger and looked at the photo – which links to the blog post about my body issues – and decided to call me Fatty. I am so angry! How can someone be that callous? It actually really upset me! Which is why is took about 4 outfit changes before I could leave the house. She wanted to make me feel bad and it worked. It still says more about her character than my body though.

Today was a hospital day. Weigh in and chat with Denise the NICU lady about Jack and then a Psychology appointment to discuss issues with Jack and myself. The weigh in actually was great as in two weeks he’s gone from 12 lb 6 oz to 13 lb 1 oz!!! Denise was very pleased with that. We also talked a little bit about weaning and she said that I could see if he wanted to start having a little bit on lunch as well as breakfast and tea. Its only small amounts and to see how he takes it. I think he enjoys most of the food I give him although he wasn’t keen on vegetable risotto. He’s doing loads better with his head control in a sitting position as we’ve decided he’s clearly just lazy when he’s on his front! He ‘s also having another sleep study in air next week to see if he can come off oxygen completely day and night all the time! Exciting stuff! And quite daunting too – I still rely on the sats/heartrate monitor at night even though we’ve never had any cause for concern. I hope we can keep that for a while yet. All in all a good meeting with Denise.

I also had the second session with the neonatal psychologist. I told her about the instagram comment this morning and we went over the body issues from there and all the stuff I wrote about in my last blog post. She said that this is obviously a massive personal issue and as I have other personal issues regarding self confidence that are lifelong as well as my selective eating disorder (also lifelong) that I should refer myself to a counsellor to go other those issues properly with someone as she is just specialising in Jack and our issues together , such as feeding and my anxieties regarding  him. I told her that one of the feeding tips she had given me last time seemed to work ok, the one about putting his favourite youtube video on in the background to pre-calm him before a feed. She also suggested holding him in “feed position” when not having a feed and just having fun interaction with him shoe stops associating that position with feed anxiety. I shall try that from now on.

She wants to see me again in regards to Jacks feeding again in August so we’ll see how he does until then and she gave me a form to fill in to refer myself for personal adult counselling.

I was really pleased that he was such a well behaved happy boy for the two appointment as there was no crying or fidgeting at all even though he was stuck in his buggy for quite a while. Obviously the steering wheel toy I have attached to the buggy worked and kept him occupied!

I’m quite excited about tomorrow too as we may be getting a Jumperoo so we’ll see how he takes to that now he can hold his head steady whilst seated!

Not a particularly interesting blog today I know but it should hopefully give folk an idea of what life is like post-NICU for both Mum and Baby. Here, have a Jack picture to make up for the boring post!

Happy boy far too active to stay still for a picture!