I don’t drink. There I said it. *gasp*
I’m not one of these hilarious mum-bloggers who share the fact that, because their toddler shat on the carpet and started painting with it (yet to happen, I’m sure it will), they drank a whole bottle of gin and it gets thousands of likes.
(Actually, I think he did once shit on someone else’s carpet – sorry Jane! No painting with it though, thank god. We good?)
I love seeing that stuff, it makes me giggle and makes me feel like it’s ok to be imperfect. It’s ok that my boy misbehaves because that’s just what kids do. Real life parenting, we’re all doing our best.
I feel separated from that club though. I don’t glug wine at the end of a difficult day. You’re more likely to find me watching The Great Pottery Throwdown with a big glass of Ribena. Sigh – is there any drink that compares?
I’m not stylish or witty.
What I am is a homebody who loves comfort. After everything we’ve been through, home is my sanctuary. I understand other Preemie Mums who may feel alienated by normal mumblogs that talk about the “last difficult trimester” we missed and the labour/birth experience we may not have gotten because of our emergency sections.
I don’t post pictures of a half-gone wine glasses. I post our story. Our successes and updates. My worries, links to news stories that I think are important. As well as stuff that I think is fun and relatable. I don’t get the audience that they do but hey ho.
I don’t have the same outlook on parenthood that I might have had, if everything had gone as it should. I’m different to the other 7 out of 8 mums who went full term and had a healthy baby. I’m different to how I was before. Cautious. Anxious. Appreciative. Blessed.
I’m not bashing other mumbloggers. I just can’t always relate. Like I have my whole life, I feel different to my peers. Separated and a bit lonely. Like at school, I had a group of friends but would they miss me if I wasn’t there? But that’s not a story for here.
So I write how I feel in hopes that I reach someone out there like me. The ones who don’t fit in. The ones that always have to make the first move to meet with friends knowing that no one ever texts them first. The ones who had a different experience to the norm. We can support each other from afar through the magic of the internet.
I am here, just as lonely and different as you, but not alone xxx
Beyond The NICU 
I can relate. I barely drink alcohol and haven’t even tried gin! I end up eating some chocolate or having a cola if things get tough with my daughter. I sometimes feel a little outside due to my interests. I enjoy playing computer games. I know a lot of mums don’t and some consider it an immature hobby. You’re not alone in how you think. Not all mum bloggers are the same.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Urge, the bit about texting first made me tear up…I’m with you there. I get so much of this post. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I literally never turn down the chance to get plastered if I have a babysitter. But the only drink I usually have is with Sunday dinner!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m not a drinking mommy blogger either. I do enjoy too much Dr. Pepper and Moutain Dew probably. At times I feel alone in the way I have been impacted by the NICU. Some other friends who’ve had babies with NICU stays don’t seem as upset or thrown off course by it as I was. I am sure they are dealing with it or just dealth with it differently. I post about my anxiety and the NICU on my personal page and hardly get any likes. Same as you. I think it is important information and worth sharing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Really enjoyed reading your blog. You have a great way of writing & I laughed out loud at the shiting on the carpet part. Keep sharing your journey.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is a really lovely post!
I’m afraid I am one of those Mum Bloggers who drinks too much wine and blogs about her kids being mental, but I’ve always been fairly ‘other’ too… I have a fair bit of anxiety and OCD following baby loss in 2015, and have had bouts of depression over the years, so although I’m a gobsh*te I’m also fairly socially anxious IRL and I’ve never really been one of the ‘in’ crowd.
I think it’s quite common to feel like an outsider and that everyone else is somehow in a club you’re excluded from. But for me the most interesting voices are the ones that speak out on their own terms, whatever they may be.
…Which is why I’m nominating you for a Liebster award. I’ll pop another comment on here with the link once I’ve written the post so that you can accept the nomination xxx
LikeLike
Thank you that’s so lovely! Honoured xx
LikeLike